I am a 24 year old male, with dashing dark hair and a height and build that rival those in the NBA. I am a devout and avid church-goer with a large, wholesome family, a bright yellow pickup truck, the perfect teeth, and absolutely no financial debt. I enjoy speaking to large crowds, skydiving, and admiring various breeds of insects.

If you’ve made it this far without cringing, I seriously applaud you. If you are [understandably] anxious to flee this page, I would like to happily inform you that I am and possess none of the things mentioned, above. Quite the opposite, actually.

I’ve been blogging since my preteen years and am still into the online writing scene. So, hello again, blogging world. I look forward to making friends with my fellow writers once more, for those out there who can excuse the sass my writing often brings.

Honestly, though, I can reach an NBA player’s height! I just have to stack a chair beneath my feet, balance on my tip-toes, and whisper aggressively to myself that I will not face plant onto the floor. Whispering aggressively always makes your balance easier to maintain. _{Until the first time you do teeter over, and then you need to find a different way to make yourself look like a complete idiot. By the way, don’t ask how I know this.}

Well, my readers, if you stick around for future entries, perhaps I will have the heart to reveal other aspects of my true identity. Haha….ha.

Now get out of here and do something worthwhile with your time — like buying a pink Volkswagen beetle, or pruning your shrubs.

-A.M.